Mower!

We got one! Woohoo! Yippee! You can see our new mower in this photo. It's the red thing with the handle sticking up. Um, the grass is a little high. That's why we bought the mower. The new mower is WAY faster than the Scissors Mower.

I used a Scissors Mower once. It was one weekend when the kids were driving me crazy and I was determined to sit and read in our sunny backyard alone to regain my sanity. Since our backyard had not been mowed in months, it was nearing official "Jungle" status. I'm not one to give up so I whipped out my sewing scissors, got down on hands and knees and insanely snipped my way through 2 foot high weeds to clear a 5' square plot of backyard.

That sure was a slooooow mow and I got stares over the fence by my neighbor. At least I had my little private plot of bliss. I plunked down the lawn chair right in the middle and enjoyed the afternoon, despite the blisters and bugs. The bugs were awful and they let me know I was intruding on their sacred ground so my bliss was interrupted by frequent smacking. The kids probably asked the Chief "Where's mom? We can't find her." to which he would have to say "I have no idea. But last time I saw her she was headed for the jungle with a pair of scissors and a book..." At some point I think I regained my sanity but don't quite remember.

Since the Scissors Mower incident, we've gone through three different backyards and countless disposable mowers. We recently found out that those mowers were created to last just one season so they have tons of junky, cheap parts inside. They're actually expected to break! That's why the price is kept cheap. Outrageous! I convinced the Chief Wallet of the Rose Support team it was time to invest in a real machine so after a little surfing, we printing out a page of info and headed off to a Tractor & Equipment place.

I was a little intimidated when we got there figuring it would be like a car dealership, with salesmen hovering over my every move and trying to talk me into mower "features," such as leather grip handles, cup holders and overhead umbrellas. There were mowers everywhere but no salivating salesmen. A steady stream of men moved in and out of the building while we were there and they all seemed to know exactly what they wanted. I was the lone female and wondered what would have happened if the Chief Negotiator wasn't there with me. I'd probably walk out with a bill of sale for a hot, Little Red Riding mower, complete with cup holder, umbrella and windshield wipers to boot. Fortunately, we ended up with a little more horsepower for less bucks than planned and just 20 minutes after arriving, loaded an 83 pound dream machine in the back of the van.

It's a beauty alright. We picked Snapper for its reliability. Our model, RP216018KWV, is equipped with a 7@3350 hp Intek OHV motor. I interpret that as "doesn't cough when mowing up hills fast."

Funny how guys are impressed with a product solely named with letters and numbers. The Chief says "That's a pretty impressive B&S Intek OHV 7 you got there" and others nod with respect. Then someone else says "Well I've got a Kohler 23 HP V-Twin OHV Zero Turn." Then everyone is rendered speechless, which is interesting because they hardly said anything at all to begin with.

I personally need a more substantial name than RP217018BV. Something like Cherry Gloss Ninja Surge Power Mower. The key word is "Ninja." Any product that's glossy and has "Ninja" in it has to be good. Our new mower has a Ninja Mulching Blade which I interpret as "shreds pinecones, watermelon rinds and bird carcasses left by cats." I need that kind of power and security and the Cherry Gloss part is just plain cute.

When we got home, I gave the machine a test drive in our backyard. At only half speed, I had to jog behind it to keep up. At full speed, I would have to sprint. Why on earth do they sell mowers that go that fast? I'd have to get a personal trainer or running lessons just to mow. Then my neighbors would really have something to watch.

The kids would ask "Where's mom? We can't find her." and the Chief would say "Oh, she's that blur in the backyard being dragged behind her new Cherry Gloss Ninja Surge Power Mower."