Tar & Feathers and Pot Preparations

Yesterday, Saturday, I met my non-gardening deadlines and obligations with great success. Woot! But I failed at getting all the roses in the ground Friday. That was a completely unrealistic goal but my optimism is usually out of control anyway. Might as well apply it to gardening too.

Friday's gardening consisted of panicking over the water-logged David Austin roses. All of a sudden, right in the middle of typing, I leapt up, ran to look at them in the garage and decided we had to resuscitate them immediately. So I gave instructions to the Rose Support Team and went back to my typing.

Half an hour later, I checked on their progress. They had properly dumped out the water from the garbage can, hosed off the bare roots, placed about 6" of fancy dirt mix in the garbage can and added the roses. That's when the mistake was made. The Rose Support Team proceded to shovel dirt over the roses and buried them up to their necks, leaving the roses looking like they were tarred and feathered. Gasp! Can't be good.

Roses for Dummies didn't turn up any statements such as "Do no coat the bare root rose canes with dirt," but it looked too awful to be good. We finally figured out a way to clean off the dirt without getting too much water in the garbage can. We filled a spray bottle with water and misted the roses until the dirt rinsed off. Boy did that take a long time! whew.

I read you're supposed to "heel in" a rose if you're not planting "right away". Judging from the little diagram I have, "heeling in" is planting shallow and leaning over. I suppose that's so the roots get confused and go sideways instead of downward so the plant is easy to rip out again. You're supposed to "heel in" if not planting "right away" but what does "right away" mean? When is "not right away"? I had NO idea it would take me so many weeks to figure out how and where to plant the roses or I would have "heeled in" the whole batch. Hopefully, letting the roses spend a weekend in a garbage can of dirt will make them appreciate their new home on the deck all the more.

We're getting closer and closer to the deck planting too. As the sun was setting this evening, we raced over to Home Depot and bought 5 coconut fiber hanging plant liners and 3 big buckets for watering. I looked all over Home Depot for "snap-on bucket comfort handles" but couldn't find any. We finally asked an employee and he laughed and said there was no such thing! WHAT? No Bucket Comfort Handles in this day and age of comfort and high tech? The employee said people just cut a section of garden hose to put over their bucket handles and told me I could have my own island retreat if I would market my idea for the bucket handles.

I have no time to pursue a career in Bucket Comfort Handles and I'm not about to sacrifice a perfectly good garden hose for bucket-carrying comfort. Fortunately, after explaining what I wanted, my husband, resident expert on all pipe and carpentry issues, suggested I try ArmaFlex tubing, used for insulating copper pipe. For just $1.89 we got a six foot length of spongy, black ArmaFlex tube, enough to cover the handles of an entire bucket brigade. It even has a convenient slit on one side with self-adhesive strips for attachment. Very sweet.

By the time we got home, it was dark. That seems to be the story of my life - Gardening at Night. I did not want to give the neighborhood yet another high wattage, spotlighted Gardening at Night show, so we worked in the dark.

I used a pocket knife to cut the coconut fiber liners into pinwheel-looking shapes that will fit flat on the bottoms of the big terra cotta planter and two whiskey barrels. We'll use the scraps in the smaller planters. One summer I had a little planter on the deck and every time it rained or I watered the plant, dirt seeped out the little drain hole and got all over the picnic table and I kept having to add more dirt in the top. Why do they put drain holes in planters? To let out the excess water, not dirt. So how do you keep the dirt in while letting water out? This gardening business is FRAUGHT with unanswered questions. Too many questions, not enough answers, so I make up my own. Which is why I bought the coconut liners when I saw them.

Dear husband drilled drain holes in the bottom of the whiskey barrels. He asked me how many holes to drill but I had no idea. Fifteen seemed way too many so we settled on three.

The whiskey barrel shavings smell downright alcoholic. We saved the shavings but don't know what to do with them. Maybe toss them on the grill next time we barbecue chicken. Since there seems to be some tarry substance coating the inside of the barrel, our shavings are somewhat tarry. Now that will be a new grilling taste: Tar & Feathered Whiskey Chicken. Mmm, mmm.