Bag 'O Beetles

What happened to the gardener? Are the roses blooming? Did the patio get finished? What was the final decision on the moat?

Actually, we're still undecided about the moat. The patio is unfinished and it doesn't look like it will be finished this year. The roses bloom and then immediately get destroyed by the Japanese beetles. Overnight two beetles can ruin a rose. Totally disgusting.

Equally disgusting is my Bag O' Beetles. It's the only way I can think of to get rid of them. My expert gardener mom squishes the beetles with her bare hands! Impressive! Disgusting! Gasp! I don't think I'll ever become an expert gardener if it means you have to squish beetles with your bare hands. I can't even squish them with gloves on. I can't step on them or smash them in a bag. So I knock them off the roses into a plastic bag and leave them to their fate.

At this point, I disconnect. Don't ask me what happens to the beetles after they go in the bag. I don't know and I don't want to know. It's impossible for a gardener to connect to both plants AND bugs. Plants and bugs simply can't share space in my brain. Either I consider the roses, for which I paid hundreds in cash, time and effort, or I consider the beetles, which are so disgusting that they mate in broad daylight right on top of a rose while eating it. I've declared these gluttonous pests to be Rose Enemy #2, next to deer, so the beetles get the bag.