The petunias are going to seed and I have a cucumber!

Ach! I'm not done enjoying the petunias! Bah. I'm not sure what's going on. I saw this crispy little, brown nub on a petunia this afternoon and wondered if it was diseased. I broke the shell open thinking a bug had eaten through it but it was hollow and little black seeds fell out. Surprise, surprise! Seeds! Here's a photo of one of the seed cases. It looks remarkably like a dolphin. You can see the old, wilted petunia "cigar" still attached at the side. Maybe I have to be more diligent at picking off the old blooms.

...pondering that...
...which means I'll have to pick off at least 50 spent blooms a day from the 16 Petunias...
”Sorry, kids, can’t take you anywhere because I have to de-cigar the Petunias.” “Sorry son, your wedding can’t start until I’ve de-cigarred all the Petunias.”

Our son't wedding is three weeks away. The petunias just have to hang on! The deck roses just have to bloom more! The cucumbers just have to be put out of sight.

The cucumbers will have to be moved from their sprawling position on the picnic table on the deck. They're gangly and ugly and still struggling to survive in the little starter pots we bought them in. The roots are growing out the bottom of the pots so I put more dirt under the pots.

I don't know where I can plant them that the deer can't get them. Maybe the cucumbers can spend the weekend of the wedding on the deck stairs. Our guests aren't likely to go down the deck stairs anyway. If the cucumbers are really happy there, I'll just leave them there.

Then a wedding guest will look down the stairs and gasp "There's something growing up your steps!" "Ah, yes," I'll say. "That's the cucumber that got away from the deer. It used to grow way over there, out by the compost pile, but every night it crept closer and closer to the deck to get away from the clenching jaws of death. The petunias and roses cheered it on, 'You can make it! C'mon, you can make it!'"

The other day I was sitting on the deck talking to my mom when I interrupted my own sentence with "Oh my goodness, I've got a cucumber! I've got a cucumber!" My mom wasn't sure what I was talking about. She's heard of people having a cow, having a big head, having a baby, but not having a cucumber. Hanging from a sad vine was a 5" long cucumber. I had no idea! And there were 10 more in various stages of growth. How can this be since the cucumbers were never planted? They didn't even get full sun all day and were practically baked to death a couple times on the 99+ degree days. I can't count the number of times I resuscitated them.

The cucumbers have had such a hard life. I better find out how big a cucumber should be before you eat it. I fear a couple may have gone to seed.